Relationship Counselling - When the love goes missing

The focus of relationship counselling is on the relationship between the parties involved, the vibrating core of which lies inconspicuously in the feeling domain. Contrary to popular belief, relationship, or more accurately “real”ationship (love/understanding), did not, does not and cannot meaningfully exist, outside of or away from whatever one feels/senses from within. Marriage can! Institutions can! Relationship cannot!

Hence, for example, the typical inclination in marriage is for one or both partners to bypass this vital inside-out link, anchoring one's expectation of relationship in and on the feelings of one's partner, whilst more realistically failing, refusing or neglecting to pursue and maintain one's “real”ationship and related commitments, to and through one's own feelings. In this regard, a typical consequence is co-dependency, wherein both parties endeavour and expect to establish and maintain a healthy relationship through the corresponding partner's feelings. In such circumstance, couples will typically present two conflicting, irreconcilable versions of what both will vehemently maintain is the same relationship, wherein both will invariably blame each other for the relationship dysfunction, corruption and inevitable demise.

The process of relationship counselling is one of redefinition, wherein parties are helped to reexplore, clarify and recover (or establish) understanding, to a degree that facilitates meaningful, purposeful and fulfilling change for all concerned. Whether that understanding leads to a better relationship together, or a better relationship apart, relationship counselling strives to ensure that any such decisions are derived from and based on healthy love.

Member: Institute of Counselling; International Association of Independent Therapists and Practitioners; Centre for Stress Management; Registered/Accredited: GHSC Validated Practitioner. Underwriter: H & L Balen & Co.

© Copyright 2014 Padraic PJ O'Neil
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